What a huge contrast it is of how I was feeling the first week I got here and how I am feeling now... I think I may actually have had a moment of bliss, even, today....
The first week i was here, I was in quite a bit of shock, fear and sadness... I had this feeling of "why didn't i just stay home??" and "what the hell am i doing this far away from family and friends" and feeling lost and lonely, a bit hopeless, and just feeling like I was doing something totally not me and almost in a state of panic that I had done something wrong... i constantly reminded myself of all the reasons I had wanted to do this traveling, but really nothing consoled me other than to talk to my mom and other folks.. but then that also made me homesick...
well.. 1 month later... just only a month (I really had not expected it to be this soon)... I am feeling really good about where I am and what i'm doing... I love the organization i'm volunteering for and the people who are apart of it...the volunteers, the families, the kids... I am loving that I'm discovering things about the culture and learning a new language.. living a different way... and it's almost like a game trying to communicate (though i'm not winning, yet, at this point at the language game!)...
don't get me wrong.. i still get very homesick.. and the spanish is still a struggle... and i still see myself as someone who would rather have stability over spontaneity (who knows, that may change by the 9 month mark?? or not..)... but i'm feeling really good about where i am and how things are going... and i'm surprised (and relieved) that it only took a month.. maybe actually a week ago i started feeling like this...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
yay! I'll bet mom will be relieved to read this.
Post a Comment